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This period represents a ten-year milestone since the phrase “vanishing” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the concept that someone could instantly end contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the peak of indignity. How naive we were. In the decade since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently pointless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Generation Z, a demographic who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a male identity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a comprehensive guide to the terms Zoomers is using to talk about romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ideal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A social media test loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is engaged or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while oozing enigma and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This signifies choosing someone who aids you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable dating in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who forgo having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of acting aloof: embracing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, poor tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits validate your decision to pursue a partner. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, mostly benign quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane turnoffs that immediately extinguish any sense of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {